Are you experiencing some form of resistance in your life? Are you tired? Do you find it difficult or exciting to set boundaries? Do you suffer from headaches or sleep problems?
In his book From Complaint to Opportunity invites general practitioner Juriaan Galavazi invites us to look at complaints differently.
Pathogen number 1: our brain
In school we learn how our bodies work: heart, lungs, stomach, intestines ... But nowhere do we learn how the head works correctly. Your head (read: your brain) produces thoughts. That is its function, all day long.
But, how true are these thoughts? More than 90% of our thoughts are not actually true and are based on assumptions, judgments, concepts that we have come to see as THE truth. It is our subjective truth. And that is exactly where it goes wrong.
Ask yourself the question a little more often: How true is what I am thinking right now? Is this thought helping me feel better right now? If not, your head is taking charge of you.
Suppression of feelings leads to illness
Your head is there to make sure you can survive. Your head is not interested in whether or not you are happy. Your body is much more sensitive to that.
We live in a society in which we have been raised primarily from our heads. Where recognition depends on results, opinions and judgments of others. Where safety and security are mainly available from a kind of "fulfillment. Because of this we gradually lost the connection with our bodies.
In order to comply, we must connect with the outside world. To maintain that connection, we have only one solution: suppressing our authenticity, of our feelings that point us in the right direction.
Suppressing your feelings and emotions leads to illness. Since everything in your body is connected, this means that one affects the other no matter what. If you suppress your emotional system, you also suppress your immune system.
Prolonged stress is a major cause of many complaints
Prolonged stress can lead to heart palpitations, muscle and joint problems. Your immune system starts to function less well. This makes you more susceptible to skin problems, chronic intestinal infections, fatigue,...
The good news is that it is a cause you can influence yourself!
Stress is often caused by 4 underlying causes:
- Feeling responsible for another person's emotions: When did you feel responsible for the feelings of your partner, colleague or employer?
- Making someone else's needs more important than your own: How often do you conform to the needs of another? Wanting to "please" the other and thus putting yourself in 2nd place. Choosing what you like, knowing (or thinking) that the other person wants something else, is not so obvious.
- Identifying yourself with your social role, responsibilities and obligations: How many times in your life have you made your work more important than yourself, felt responsible for the task you took on? How many times did you look at your mail on vacation anyway or felt more or less obligated to answer that one message anyway?
- Suppressing your fear, sadness, frustration and anger: At what times have you suppressed your own fear, sadness, pain, frustration and especially your anger just to want to keep the connection with "the other"?
That 'other' can be your partner, parents, children, friends, colleagues,.... Also in a material sense: your work, your (company) car, your vacations, your financial and social status.
Also read our blog post with 5 tips on recovering your stress balance.
Your complaint as opportunity: improve your life by listening to your body
Your body is the perfect thermometer: an extremely delicate instrument that allows you to feel what you deeply want and which way you may go.
Your body lets you know when you're on the right track: the engine turns on, you get energy, feel good, .... If something is not right your inner compass will let you know through your body. It pulls the alarm bell. You become tired, your back hurtsYou get a backache, a rash on your skin, pain in your head or shoulder, abdominal complaints or an infection. Your body screams "Stop, up to here and no further! Steer clear!
You usually want to get rid of the discomfort as soon as possible. So that you can resume your path, when in fact it may be that very path that makes you sick. Therefore, it can be valuable to ask yourself the question: What does my body really want to tell me here? What can I change in my life?
So your body allows you to constantly reconnect with the here and now, the only place where you can really change anything. Every moment, every second, you can make adjustments. And so remain in charge of your own life!
Do you feel you are stuck at work? Do you want to adjust your career?