Are you a single parent?
Is the daily challenge of caring for and raising children tougher than you thought?
Are you experiencing the stress of making enough money to support your family's wellbeing and feel fulfilled in your own career?
It can sometimes be a bit much and there are no ready-made solutions, after all, every family is unique.
For single parents, the challenge is twofold. You watch when your child has a fever, you have to stay longer at work, you deal with a sudden emergency, you enforce the house rules, you handle the numerous everyday decisions. As a single parent, you do everything alone and it's a big responsibility.
Creative and solution-oriented problem solving is common among solo parents. Once you find yourself on your own, you often develop unique, solution-oriented skills. This is a necessary response to your unique situation.
Therefore, my 5 tips:
Tip #1: Take advantage of stolen moments
Parenting inspires you and points you to what is important to you in your life and work. Mothers who rush to school pick-up or fathers who work from home when a child is sick are just as committed as employees with partners.
Time is your enemy as well as your ally. There are never enough hours in a day. As a single-parent, it is important to identify where you can save time and what you want to prioritize. You know you can't do everything at once and perfectly, whether it's a messy house, an extra hour of soccer for the kids, a shortened dog walk or takeout. You are aware of your family's wellbeing and that your time is precious.
Therefore, as a solo parent, you benefit from small intense moments with your children. In addition to your responsibilities at work, you make the most of your time by integrating your personal tasks into your commute, planning your sports activities deliberately and allocating yourself a limited time for certain tasks. You can do excellent work in half-hour increments and add them up.
Tip 2: Organize unique housing arrangements
The traditional family arrangement does not always support solo parents where it is needed financially or logistically. How about sharing your home with another family or with a single parent? It can help you solve many of the logistical problems.
To reduce living expenses and get help with child care, single parents can also temporarily move in with relatives. Kangaroo homes lend themselves perfectly to this. Perhaps a house with an attic unit or basement is a solution and you can move in with your parents or like-minded people and temporarily share the related financial costs?
Or do you choose to rent a large house that you sublet to one or more roommates who enjoy being part of your family environment? Or do you live in a college town and offer housing to students in exchange for a few extra hands and childcare for your children? Or maybe you could rent out part of your house or garden through organizations like Airbnb. Ideal for earning something on the side. So think beyond the traditional single-family home or apartment.
Tip 3: Provide atypical work schedules.
Single dad Derrick changed jobs to be closer to home:
I cut my travel time by more than half. Now I can attend after-school events and cook at home. As a result, I leave for work around the same time my son leaves for school. I accepted a cut in pay but I am glad I made the decision to spend more time at home and with him.
You don't always have to sacrifice part of your salary and career to be more available for your children. In consultation with your employer, you may choose to change shifts, flexible work or part-time work. More and more organizations understand that flexibility results in a more dedicated workforce, and so today's single parents are more able than ever to create schedules around their family's needs.
Sometimes such choices can mean developing new career paths.
"I quit my job as a social worker to offer in-home child care so I could stay home with my kids and still pay my bills, too," says a solo mom. "I loved being home with my son and daughter and they enjoyed getting to know other kids in the neighborhood. Once both my children were in elementary school, I returned to social work and started my own business. My home child care experience provided skills that I can use to help other parents start a business," she further explains.
Working from home is a strategy that solo parents use to make daily juggling easier. Working from home can put you in a position of complete remoteness a few times a week or perhaps even a few times a week. By merging business interests with the desire to work from home, you sometimes achieve a satisfactory balance.
Tip 4: Build practical support networks
Single-parent creativity goes beyond time management and work organization. You can involve your children in building your support network.
Let your children play "chef" one night a week. They prepare dinner. They are sure to enjoy it and you have time to get some extra work done. You may have noticed yourself that your children are more resilient and independent because you expect them to do household chores instead of just doing chores.
Tip 5: Invest in personal and virtual networks
The most impactful networks are a mix of close connections and people you don't know as well: friends and family offer meaningful connections while acquaintances give you access to information you might not get from your inner circle.
Your close-knit group of (single) parents may know about the same babysitters and after-school programs, while those outside your circle may know about resources like a new or little-known program in a neighboring city. The same goes for social media and other online support groups. The more diverse your network, the more diverse the information you can access.
Your social network can also relieve some of the stress of daily meals and errands. A stew with a few peers once a week not only takes away the burden of dinner, but also provides connection and support. Ideas from friends solve the endless question, "What's for dinner?" Teaming up with another parent while shopping, running errands or just spending time on the playground is an effective strategy.
Asking a friend to drive around with you while you run errands provides socialization and someone to wait in the car with your sleeping toddler as you enter the store, bank or post office." Clothing swaps, childcare and carpooling within your network also reduce the carrying burden for single parents.
As a working single parent, you will discover how to make the most of your time, home and work life and networks. Through unique and creative problem solving, you have found new ways to move forward and be the best parent you can be under challenging changing circumstances. Single parents go it alone. Is it challenging for you and what opportunities are in it?
Would you like to spar with one of our coaches about this?
How do you keep all the balls in the air? How do you find an exciting job in combination with your children? Are you satisfied with your work-life balance? Do you experience financial pressure as a single parent? These themes come up daily in our career coaching sessions. Our experienced coaches are happy to help you find peace and perspective.