There are a lot of misconceptions surrounding perfectionism. Especially in the business world. Few people know what perfectionism is exactly. And most perfectionists do not realize they are perfectionists because there is a general perception about perfectionism that is incorrect.
#1 "Perfectionists are perfect people"
This is really the biggest misunderstanding that exists about perfectionists. Often people in my private practice say to me, "I do recognize the guilt, the procrastination that comes with perfectionism, but I don't suffer from perfectionism because I'm not perfect at all." Many people think perfectionists have everything neat, well-organized, orderly and tidy. They often report that their house is quite messy, that they don't get anything done and so they are definitely not a perfectionist because "perfectionists do everything perfectly anyway." This is not so. Perfectionists do not do everything neat, organized and perfect. They prefer to have perfect habits, plans, the perfect vacation or the perfect look and prefer to appear perfect on social media.
So people with perfectionism have high standards. They set high standards for themselves (and others) and have set a high bar. So high that these demands are not really realistic. Which makes it hard for them to take action to achieve them or they just put pressure on themselves to pursue their goals anytime, anywhere. And so actually perfectionists find it hard to take action because they have a fear that they cannot meet these high expectations that they create for themselves. And this is because they are convinced that they are not good enough. So they don't take action OR , on the contrary, try too hard because they don't consider themselves good enough.
TIP
If you find yourself struggling to take action or trying very hard to achieve certain goals, ask yourself if deep down inside there is a little voice whispering to you, "Am I actually worth it?" or "Am I actually good enough?" or "Am I actually doing ok?" Be honest with yourself. It is only when you dare to face something that you can deal with it.
2# "Perfectionism helps me achieve my ambitions."
The second misconception I often hear is "thanks to my perfectionism , I am fulfilling my ambitions." They think they have achieved good results in the past by being perfectionists. They think that if they leave perfectionism behind, that they will become lazy, stop taking action and achieve less. And just that is important to perfectionists: they prefer to always achieve their goals, because they make their self-esteem depend on whether or not they succeed.
I always find it fascinating when people express this misconception because perfectionism just causes you to procrastinate until the deadline is coming or only do things that you are 100% sure will work. Because as long as you stay in your comfort zone, that inner voice keeps quiet. But as soon as you want to get out of your comfort zone, that little voice makes itself heard again: "Am I worth it?", "Am I good enough?", "Am I actually okay?". That little voice is constantly judging yourself. And this creates panic and crippling insecurity.
For example, I see people who have the potential to speak in front of groups but don't do it because of their perfectionism. Because the little voice says, "Am I actually good enough to do this?". Thus, perfectionism causes you to only do things that you are 100% sure you can do. So that you can control the situation for yourself. Yet people are afraid to leave perfectionism behind. Because it seems easier for them than just being kind to themselves, being proud of themselves and having healthy self-esteem, enjoying the road and maybe achieving a little less. When in fact, we actually just achieve more by leaving perfectionism behind.
So it is a big misunderstanding to think that perfectionism helps you achieve your ambitions.
TIP
Dare to let go of control by stepping out of your comfort zone once and be surprised by the results!
#3 "Once a perfectionist, always a perfectionist"
The third misconception I often hear is that people think they are born a perfectionist and therefore will always be a perfectionist. That too is not true. We don't come into this world as perfectionists. It may be a little confusing because I do use the word perfectionist but that's just to give it a name, it's easy to communicate and to show that there are others who struggle with the exact same thing.
All in all: perfectionism is not situated at the identity level. Some, however, are more prone to perfectionism, for example, people with high sensitivity or giftedness. These are two traits that promote perfectionism. Perfectionism is a pattern that emerges somewhere in our lives, which is why you get rid of it. It may seem like it is incredibly difficult to get out of this, but actually it is not. We are all capable of making changes. It is important to know that you can get rid of this procrastination or low self-esteem. So don't tell yourself, "I'm a perfectionist and I'm always going to be this way." Know that it's just a pattern and there are people who can help you get rid of it. So if you believe now that you are not good enough, it doesn't have to stay that way. Realize that underneath the pattern of perfectionism there is often tremendous potential. I wholeheartedly grant you the opportunity to discover this potential in yourself so that you can live a life based on this potential.
TIP
Surround yourself with people who believe in you and are able to take you to the next level. That makes a world of difference.
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