Why feedback is always a gift ... 8 tips to better deal with 'negative' feedback
The time has come ... the period of annual evaluation and performance reviews.
Tears stood in her eyes. For more than 10 years, Mieke had been working very hard and committed herself from a strong sense of responsibility and striving for even better results ... Something for which she was always strongly appreciated and then ... suddenly out of the blue she received a negative evaluation. Mieke was devastated. It is that new manager who does not know how she has always given herself fully, yes sometimes even at the expense of her family, her free time ... It felt so unfair.
During the coaching, Mieke learned to look at the situation with a little more distance and realized that it was not such a black-and-white story after all. Her manager put his finger on the sore spot. Until then a blind spot for her. He confirmed that Mieke is indeed a hard worker but only has an eye for the result. As a result, however, she moves forward like a rocket and does not take the time to bring others into the story. While through more teamwork she could achieve a much stronger result and at the same time give others the opportunity to use their talents.
Feedback is always a gift. The important thing is to see it not as an attack on your person, as a failure ... but as an opportunity to grow.
8 tips to better deal with "negative" feedback
- Don't react immediately
When you are criticized, you tend to defend yourself. Take some time to process what's coming at you. When you are calmer and less emotional, you are better able to deal with feedback. - Listen well
Listen actively and summarize what you hear. Make use of LSD (listen, summarize and ask through). Ask more questions so that you
the essence (of the problem). Be curious. By listening carefully, you show the other person that you are open to feedback. - Show understanding
Receiving feedback is all about opening yourself up to the other person's opinion. The fact that the other person gives you feedback means that the other person thinks your relationship is worthwhile. He or she is sitting with a concern or need. What makes the other person give you this feedback? Put yourself in the other person's shoes. Show the other person that you are trying to understand him/her. - Deal with it positively
Something in itself is never negative or positive. It only becomes negative or positive by how you deal with it. To develop further, you need to be aware of yourself. And for that, you need feedback. Feedback is positive: it shows you that you are not yet very good at something and that you can still grow. Don't consider it an attack on your person, a failure ... but rather an opportunity to learn something. - Thank the other
Regardless of the content, thank the other person for the feedback! Show appreciation for the other person making the effort to give you feedback. It is not easy for him or her to bring you this message either. - Share your feelings without getting defensive
Tell the other person honestly and respectfully how you experience the feedback without getting defensive. Do you think the comment was justified or unjustified? - Work together to find a solution and learn from the feedback
Ask the other person what they expect from you and why. And then see to what extent you can meet them. Take feedback to heart and do something with it. Let the other person know what you can or will not change and why. Make agreements.
Ask yourself what have you learned about yourself and what you can do differently in the future? The harder the criticism has hit you, the more you can learn from it. - Focus on the positives
Many of us set the bar very high and then focus on that one point that wasn't as good. While there may have been ten strong things highlighted in your review. Focus on the positives too!
Career coaching also gives you feedback about yourself
After an assessment or feedback, you may be questioning many things and not remembering. Do you also feel like you want to get to know yourself better? Or do you want to prepare just right for an evaluation interview?
Get started with your career compass and map your talents
Step by step, you create your career compass. You map out your talents, what you want to develop, what is important to you and which professions fit your personality. This allows you to take stock of your current job and see what opportunities are still available to you, internally or externally, so that you continue to get sustainable energy from your work. You discover what you want to say 'yes' to, and what becomes a 'no', simply because it does not suit you ...