One of the reasons for these doubts is that HSP more than average choose to live a life that they felt was was expected of them - by their parents, other important people in their lives or society. For example, they chose a profession because their parents did or because their parents would have liked them to. They chose a cognitive field of study because it is expected if you are intelligent - whereas they would have preferred a creative profession (art school, conservatory, etc).
The risk is that at some point they no longer live the life that suits them. They have strayed so far from their core that it no longer flows. Only when you do what really suits you, what you are good at, enjoy and care about can you live a satisfied and meaningful life.
A lot of HSP have learned to be primarily concerned with the expectations and desires of others. And at some point it blocks. If you spend long enough doing what doesn't actually suit you, your battery gradually runs down. You develop physical complaints, feel stressed and wonder what is wrong. This is when people come into counseling. When asked what gives them energy or what makes them happy, they often can no longer answer. They suffer from "the empty middle." They no longer know who they are at their core. Who am I really? What do I want? What do I need? What do I dream about? What can I enjoy?
The solution is to start feeding the empty middle back by taking 10 minutes daily to reflect on the previous questions.
To discover what your intrinsic qualities and talents are, you can also ask yourself the following questions:
# 1 What did you like to do as a child?
What toys did you play with? What could you spend hours with? When you were still close to your core, you were mostly engaged with your intrinsic qualities and talents. How can you transform those activities into your adult life? It might give you as much energy and the same sense of freedom as it did then.
For example, some as children enjoyed doing puzzles, making bracelets, cross-stitching and painting by numbers. The common thread in these activities is the use of fine motor skills and attention to detail. There were also those who liked to engage in brainteasers and crosswords (common thread = cognitive challenge). And some then love board games (theme = connectedness and competition). A tip you can implement then is to set aside time almost daily for such things as puzzles, diamond painting, Japanese puzzles and board games with your family members. What would you like to try again?
#2 What were top experiences or greatest hits for you in the past?
Where did you get satisfaction from? When were you in your element? What skills did you need to do so? What activities were involved?
#3 What were milestones in your life?
What were big life events? What qualities caused you to get through them? What helped you get through them?
Also in career counseling we search together for your true core. We map out your talents and values, look for moments when you are in flow and thus engaged with your intrinsic qualities. Together we look at how you can shape your job so that it better suits you. Together with a professional coach you will reflect on what gives and takes your energy and draw up a concrete action plan to take the first steps towards change. Even small adjustments can make a big difference in your sense of wellbeing and meaning.