Blue Monday and positive thinking
According to some, the most depressing day of the year. New Year's resolutions made soon turn out to fail, the next vacation season is still far away, it's dark and chilly, and on top of that it's Monday, the first day of the work week. Enough reasons to become dejected or wistful, you might say. However, the same period is just experienced and named very positively by Hindus as the winter solstice, the moment when the sun rises earlier and earlier in the morning every day.
Bart Peeters sings it beautifully: "it's not what it is, it's what you do with it." And more than that: it is mainly how you look at it. Scientific research has shown that it is not what happens in our environment that makes us feel good or bad but rather the thoughts we have about that event.
There are both good and not so good sides to most situations. There are those who focus mostly on the positive sides, and there are those who focus mostly on the negative sides.
What you focus on becomes bigger and weighs more in your perception. What gets attention grows. Good news: which side you pay the most attention to, you can choose and thus learn to direct.
5 tips to train your brain in positive thinking
However, it is true that our brain by nature automatically pays more attention to the negative because we are programmed to survive and thus must have spotted any danger. By the way, highly sensitive individuals have a security scanner that is even more sharply tuned and thus reacts even more strongly and quickly to potential threats.
Fortunately, we can begin to overcome this negative tendency by training our brains like a muscle to look more positive.
People with a brain trained in positive attention are happier, more confident, more energetic and experience more successes. And when you experience more fun things, you naturally have more material to look at positively. That's how you get into a positive spiral.
Thinking Positively? Here's how to train your brain in a positive attention focus
Tip 1 - Wallpaper your home with positive stimuli
You can consciously expose your brain to positive stimuli daily by hanging fun inspirational quotes in strategic places. A funny cartoon or a picture that makes you smile may also attract your attention. Try making a dream board or other vision board - a combination of inspirational words and pictures - and hang it somewhere highly visible. Each time you look at it and take in the stimuli, you make the brain pathways to the positive stronger.
Tip 2 for positive thinking - Create, collect and relive positive memories
Make a list of activities that make you feel good and try to do some of them daily or weekly. What did you like to do as a child? You can find a lot of inspiration on the Internet through "list of fun things." Try to laugh for 10 minutes daily. Watch funny movies, keep a grumble journal, or put on your best smile while doing a routine task. Provide daily body contact: romp, hug, or pet a pet. Engage in "kindness," a combination of caring and kindness. Regularly do something kind for another person, do a good deed, give a compliment or a gift, become a volunteer. This not only makes the other person happy but also your own brain produces feel-good substances. A double win!
Fun memories are not only fun in the moment but can be left to haunt you by keeping good records and collecting them. For example, make a success book with all your small and big successes, and a compliment notebook with kind words you received from others. Make a happy box, a nicely decorated (shoe) box with photos from trips and other fun memories, tickets you received, objects that trigger your memories (e.g., a rock from on a trip, a restaurant ticket or movie ticket). The digitals among us might benefit more from a happy folder on cell phone or computer.
In addition to making and collecting all these positive memories, it is also important to start reliving them regularly. Rereading or revisiting these memories also reawakens the feelings associated with them. Especially in dip moments, this can boost your mood and wellbeing.
Tip 3 - Look at difficult experiences differently
Of course, there are also a lot of difficult things we have to do, things we don't really feel like doing but can't get out of. Or things that happen that we have no impact on. Even then, through an attention shift, we can make sure we don't drown in negativity.
How can you look at it differently so it feels less awkward? One client was in a position that often involved waiting in the car, which led to frustration and anger. By approaching the situation differently, this negative energy could be transformed into something positive. Together they looked at ways to make waiting more productive, such as applying breathing exercises and enjoying music while waiting. This shift in perspective changed the situation from an energy guzzler to a source of energy.
So you can ask yourself with every awkward situation or activity what the benefit or added value might be for you. Maybe celebrating Christmas at your in-laws' house is awkward because of the chance of comments, but you get free good food with your feet under the table in a house you don't have to clean up yourself. Waiting at the cash register or in the doctor's waiting room is a great opportunity for a zen moment where you take time to breathe consciously, express your gratitude, or stretch your muscles.
Tip 4 for positive thinking - Consciously look for points of light
Go over your day daily and dwell on all possible bright spots. Express your gratitude (out loud or to yourself) for all the obvious things you passed by blindly. Maybe there was no traffic jam, you found a parking spot quickly, there were few people at the bakery, it was immediate to you at the checkout. Maybe you can also be grateful for your senses, your body, your health, the roof over your head, your family or relatives.
Keep a positive journal, a beautifully decorated notebook in which you can jot down your little happinesses daily. A kind gesture, a nice chat, a delicious meal, the sun on your face, the rustling of leaves under your feet, the smell of freshly cut grass, watching the cats play, petting the dog, the cooing of a baby, a loving hug, a smile. Let each of these happinesses resonate by dwelling on it for 20 to 30 seconds and letting the corresponding feeling sink in.
Tip 5 - Focus on your strengths
Everyone has qualities (pleasant traits) and talents (skills we are good at and enjoy doing). We tend to take our qualities for granted and thus minimize their value. However, focusing on what you are worth is essential for your self-esteem, self-image and self-confidence. In addition, it is also important to engage as much as possible in things you enjoy, with your talents, interests and passions. This will give you an incredible amount of energy, more success, more self-confidence and a desire to grow.
Do you also want more energy through positive focus?
Would you like some support from a sparring partner?
Then perhaps career coaching is something for you. At Travvant we help you think positively by working with you to map out your qualities and talents so that you know what you can focus on more. Knowing what you are worth and doing what you are good at and enjoy doing provide pleasure, energy and inspiration in your work. This vibe then flows back into your private life, leaving room for enjoyment and growth there as well.
Written by Séverine Van De Voorde - Reworked by Sabine Havelaerts