I often see highly skilled professionals and entrepreneurs in my career coaching who appear successful on the outside and radiate self-confidence.
However, behind that successful exterior there is often something else:
internally they almost succumb to performance pressure, they live in their heads (and therefore ignore their body signals) and doubt themselves and what they are doing. They seem unable to be satisfied with who they are, with the results they achieve or goals they reach.
Why she...
- putting off that difficult task?
- secretly struggle to make quick decisions?
- suffer to start up the business they have been dreaming of for so long?
- set themselves (and others) impossible goals?
- remain in their golden cage?
Excuses from perfectionists
No doubt a lot of excuses come up. The favorite excuse is "Because I'm a perfectionist.
- 'I'm a perfectionist so I don't get ahead in my business, career or life.'
- Or "I won't get my project done in time because I'm a perfectionist.
- Or "I strive for quality, therefore I expect perfect results from my team.
That still sounds ok, right? Isn't it true that every employer or client expects them to do it perfectly? That they are always striving for faster, more and better? So using perfectionism as an excuse gets them off to a good start.
Now, research shows that perfectionism is quite complex . Some suffer little from it. The majority experience a lot of stress and tension because of it. And a few of them do not want to face its destructive effects and prefer to stick their heads in the sand.
Perfectionism consists of a tangle of thoughts and feelings that live in a person. Were a perfectionist to be honest with himself, he would say:
- 'I put off that difficult task because I doubt myself.'
- 'I doubt what I'm doing.'
- 'I doubt the results I put down or the goals I achieve.'
Perfectionism: the hard truth
Because that is the hard truth behind perfectionism.
And behind that doubt is often fear: fear of being judged or rejected: 'Am I good enough? Am I doing well enough? Is it enough?' And these kinds of thoughts are killing your self-confidence. Is it any wonder then that perfectionism exhausts and burns you out as Marcel Hendrickx says in his book 'Burnout begins in kindergarten' outlines?
The doubt and fear associated with perfectionism are located at a subconscious level. No one gets up in the morning with the idea "I'm going to give myself a hard time today. The cause therefore needs to be tackled at an unconscious level. Marcel Hendrickx developed the OCP method (Developmental Coaching of Perfectionism) for this purpose. I myself have used this method to liberate many professionals and entrepreneurs during career coaching from their low self-esteem, fatigue and the stress and pressure they impose on themselves through perfectionism.
Solutions to perfectionism: how this works right?
Within OCP, we work with the part of the brain that controls the perfectionism pattern. This part works from the left hemisphere - the thinking hemisphere. This explains why perfectionism involves thinking and brooding. We make this part work together with another part (free child) that controls freedom, spontaneity and creativity, among other things. Getting these 2 parts to work together creates harmony, peace and a strong sense of self.
If you want to merge growth and success with pleasure and fulfillment (and the latter 2 are often lacking in perfectionists), it is important to dare to look at yourself. It takes courage to embrace both your "positive" and "negative" aspects, without judgment. Yet it makes sense: only then will you gain clarity and clarity about who you want to be, what you consider important, what your pitfalls are, what you are good at, what you like to do, what you still want to develop, what gives and eats your energy.
Clarity & responsibility
When you have clarity about this, you are able to take responsibility for yourself and choose self-care. This means saying "yes" to what suits you. Formulating a clear 'No' to that which does not suit you.
And this is exactly what is expected of you as a professional in the 21st century: that you take your own responsibility and communicate clearly about what you need in your career. So that you take charge of shaping your career. So that you can mold your job so that your work gives you tons of energy. And this benefits your productivity. So both you and your employer benefit.
As a entrepreneur this is no less important. In fact, in the 21st century it forms the basis of your business. If you can clearly communicate which clients you want to attract, which assignments you do and do not want to take, you will be called for what suits you. And you will enjoy it more and spontaneously attract more clients. Which translates into more sales.
It's not always easy to communicate your needs. This is where we are happy to help you from Travvant.
Perfectionism in employees
Are you an employer who wants to use the career passport and coaching on perfectionism to ensure that his employees combine growth and success with pleasure and fulfillment? So that they feel good and you are satisfied with the results they achieve? Contact us for an offer without any obligation.
Our research shows that unhealthy perfectionism increases the risk of burnout. Moreover, you can address unhealthy perfectionism and turn it into healthy perfectionism you. This can boost your resilience and thus also greatly reduce the risk of burnout. Therefore, review with your staff whether perfectionism is present and be sure to check out our workshops to work on this further.Do you doubt whether you suffer from perfectionism? Then be sure to take our perfectionism test and discover whether you can take further steps to get your perfectionism under control.